Sometimes we create our own private prisons…
We allow our minds take control and with that comes distorted truths, self judgement and self sabotage.
In this past year I have become more and more aware of my truth… what really stems from the core of me. Acting wise… today was not a good day for my actor… well yesterday. Now is the time for growth and change, and change cannot occur if I keep moving backwards.
I love acting because I love the human condition. I love touching people with my work, and I love being inspired.On stage it is not about me it is about the character, in this case it is about Lena. I cannot fully live as Lena on stage if one single RYAN THOUGHT occurs. Lena gives me freedom, and I abandoned that freedom yesterday, and started thinking of myself, and judging the work, rather than just living.
After I verbally beat myself up after running my scene, I got to thinking about Thandie’s speech again. There was one portion of the speech I found rather profound, and replayed it over and over…
“The Self’s struggle for authenticity and definition will never end unless it’s connected to its creator——and by creator I mean you … and in my case, me. And that can happen with awareness—awareness of the reality of oneness and the projection of Self-hood. For a start, we can think about all the times when we do lose our Selves. For me, it happens when I dance and when I’m acting. I’m earthed in my essence, and my Self is suspended. In those moments, I’m connected to everything—the ground, the air, the sounds, the audience’s energy. All my senses are alert and alive in much the same way as an infant might feel—that feeling of oneness.” -Thandie Newton (Ted Talks)
I will chant this as I head to sleep. Long day tomorrow.