The older I get the more I realize how free people are with giving people the title of friend. Go to the bar once on a Friday night “Oh she’s my friend.” You see each other everyday because you work together “She’s my good friend.” You guys met at a concert and follow each other on instagram… “That’s my friend.” Why is the word friend tossed around so freely? Is it merely a label we give to everyone we come in contact with to boost our egos?
Perhaps my standards of friendship are too high… but then again… maybe everyone else’s are too lax. Even the dictionary is bit remiss with their definition.
See, Basic AF!!!
I was asked what my constitutes someone being a friend in “Ryan’s world”…. Well it’s very simple… I always go by 5 things… here it goes.
- Trust/Honesty– If I can’t trust you. I can’t fuck with you. I mean that goes with relationships in any form. If I can’t trust enough you keep information between us, how in the hell can I believe you if you tell me my outfit is cute?
- Communication– If I can text you at 1am “wuddup playa?!” at 2am, and not feel guilty… then you are my peoplesss. No, we don’t have to talk every single day, but if I’m the one always initiating the conversation… you are not my friend.
- Kindness– I am all about spreading love around, until people come for me (I have no idea why I’m going all OITNB in my commentary.) I cannot roll with mean, spoiled, judgemental, or childish assholes. I already have one, I don’t need two. If you can’t be nice to a stranger on the street… or hell, just be a decent human being to people in your everyday life…you clearly aren’t kind to yourself, and 9 times out of 10 your ass will turn on me, so…
- Authenticity– I live for people who are shamelessly themselves. I’m a total goofball and love people I can be a goofball with. So lets be goofballs together. Or I can just be the goofball and you won’t get embarrassed when I break out into song or dance or do something insane in the middle of the parking lot, restaurant or store.
- Love- If I like you… then we are cool… but me liking you doesn’t make you a friend. It means we vibe and can do shit together without it being awkward. If you’re my friend I love you. When I love you you get me at my 100% best. A friend who you can trust, who will always checking in, will feel your pain, always have your best interest, will go far and wide for you, and always pick you up when you’re down. That’s what friendship is all about.
See, that’s actually not too much to ask for. I think we should all start seeking friendships of quality, not quantity.